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The -=OrTn=- Chronicle

¢25
Friday, December 29, 2000


Atomic Boy smashed as BlastWave goes AWOL!


Officals reported early this morning that famed -=OrTn=- co-founder, BlastWave, has gone missing. Officals searched for hours to locate -=OrTn=- founder Atomic Boy for questioning.

Officals found Atomic Boy at his home in a drunken stupor. After being smacked into a state of semi-consciousness, officals were able to question Atomic Boy about several matters at hand.

Atomic Boy
Officals found Atomic Boy in a druken stupor at his home, Friday Morning.

"I dun't knoW nuthannnn" Atomic Boy sputtered when asked of the wherabouts of BlastWave. "Iz only heaaaard thaaat, thaat...can I have that? IA heard he was movin. An I knowa nat one...two...or one thaang mure."

When officals searched the residence, they found a backlog of files in Atomic Boy's to do folder on his PC, mostly relating to an internet site for his Counter-Strike Clan, which goes by the name of -=OrTn=-.

When asked about slacking on the development of the web site, Atomic Boy noted "Ia staill wurkin on it, and it...umm..yes. But no. BlastWave to who him I must speak to in tha face with an, an, an then Iz can cuz you see he I mean me is doing I am doing art but I ain't no good you know but filterz make me stuff these thannngs I do thut look okay, okay? But see hez got to do tha real haaaard artsy styff cause filler, fil...filterz ain't no good for that and all that stuff yuz know so Iz do what me can now but Iz need to see himmm to do more things. Was thier, waaaat, was thaat right?"

When asked if the site would be finished for it's scheduled launch date of 1.10.01, Atomic Boy took a swig of Goldschlogger and muttered "it's purty", before passing out on the table. Officals were unable to raise him, and left his residence after liberating a few items and changing all the IPs on his LAN. "It's sad to see people in such a state of sloth" one offical, who wished his name not be revealed, comment. "This is one sicko here. Unfortunately, the law has limits, so we have to wait for him to step out of line before we can take actions to protect the community. Oh, yes...we'll be watching this one."

When asked about the investigation into the disappearance of Blastwave, officals commented "If he knows what's good for him, he's putting distance between himself and this sicko. We don't blame him, either. All we can do now is wait for word from BlastWave. Right now, we think the best thing for him is to just keep hidden."




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Atomic Boy


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